Hold onto your wigs, because I'm about to spill the tea on Badlands! This joint is the hottest spot in town, where you want to be if you're ready to sashay the night away. From the moment you step inside, you’re hit with a wave of energy that screams fun, fabulousness, and fierce vibes. It’s the kind of place where you can let your hair down, dance like nobody’s watching, and live your best life all night long.
Alright, let’s get this cocktail party started. They’ve got a decent selection of liquors—think middle-shelf, not the kind of stuff that’ll make you wake up in a ditch. And don't even think about finding a drink menu; it's as elusive as a Grindr date who actually wants to go to brunch. But for $7, you can get a cocktail with some Sun Ranch well vodka that'll have you feeling fabulous in no time.
The atmosphere? It's louder than a drag queen at a karaoke night. During peak hours, you’ll be shouting louder than your Aunt Karen at Thanksgiving dinner. The front has huge windows that let in some fresh air, which is great because you’re going to need it after all that dancing. Unfortunately, there is no outdoor space but the windows that open make up for it, even if the smokers/vapers have no where to go. And the back? Oh, it’s a dark, sexy dance club where you can get up to all kinds of mischief. Disco balls, mood lighting, and enough dark corners to hide all your secrets.
This place is a video dance bar, and it’s serving all the hits that’ll have you shaking your booty like there's no tomorrow. The staff is friendlier than your best Judy after a few cocktails. Bathrooms? They've got multiple private stalls, perfect for when you need to powder your nose... or whatever else you’re up to.
TVs everywhere you look, so you won’t miss a single scandalous moment of your favorite reality show. And for you pool sharks, there are two tables where you can show off your skills. The bar food is decent, but let’s be real—the fries need more salt, and that’s the tea.
Badlands is close to the MAX line, so getting there is easier than finding glitter in a drag queen’s makeup bag. The surrounding area is a bit sketchy, but who cares? You’re here to party! Plus, there are plenty of other LGBTQ+ bars nearby for a full night of debauchery.
Descriptive words? New, shiny, and fabulous! It’s a big city queer bar that could easily fit in New York or Chicago. It’s a much-needed safe space for Portland’s queer community and is setting the bar high for other local spots. But is it just because it’s new? Only time will tell.
Grab your glitter, gather your queens, and get your fabulous selves to Badlands. It’s a sparkling gem in Portland’s nightlife crown.
