Alright, let's spill the cocktail shaker on Goose Hollow Inn, the local haunt where even the ducks keep it low-key. Rainbow Randy in the house, ready to give you the deets. Here's my take:
They say variety is the spice of life, but this joint's liquor game is more like a one-trick pony. One type of each? It's like a bar that only knows how to play one note. The drinks? Basic, like a "howdy" from your neighbor. Crater Lake vodka? Straightforward, just like a hike up Mt. Hood.
Loudness? Quieter than my cat plotting world domination. As for darkness, I needed my phone flashlight just to decipher the menu. Early 2000s hits playing in the background? Takes me back to low-rise jeans and flip phones. Staff? Sweeter than a sugar packet. Bathrooms? About as private as a group text. Skiing conditions? Treacherous – bring your poles.
Now, onto the grub. Elevated Applebee’s is no exaggeration. Rubens for everyone, even the vegans. Just be wary of garlic overload unless you're on a date with a fellow garlic enthusiast. That could be a match made in culinary heaven.
Conveniently right across from the MAX line – you could practically throw a rock and hit it. The area is cute, safe, and tranquil, like a knitting circle at grandma's. But if you're thinking of swinging by before a Thorns or Timbers game, think again. It's as busy as my closet during Pride month. Kitschy decor with vintage posters – feels like grandma's place, but with more booze and fewer doilies.
In a nutshell, Goose Hollow Inn is your reliable pal for a laid-back night – not flashy, but always there for you. So, grab your phone for the menu, brace yourself for the bathroom adventure, and savor those top-notch Rubens. Rainbow Randy signing off!
🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌 (7 out of 10 bananas)
-Rainbow Randy 🌈
Goose Hollow Inn
1927 SW Jefferson St, Portland, OR 97201
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