Welcome to the Leaky Roof, where the drinks might be a bit leaky, but the atmosphere is cozier than your grandma's quilts. Rainbow Randy here, ready to unravel the quirks of this spot. So, grab your pink Himalayan salt candle holder and let's dive into this peculiar watering hole.
Variety of liquors? Well, it's more like a solo in this orchestra. The lineup is as standard as a pop song on repeat. Rose City vodka for five bucks – it's like the frugal cousin of the liquor family.
Fairly quiet, like a library for day drinkers. Great natural light – it's almost like you're drinking in a solarium. Soft instrumental rock, the kind your dentist would blast while drilling your molars. Staff? Friendlier than a golden retriever with a bone.
Private enough to stage a one-person ski trip, but sadly, the bar is so small that multiple people can't hit the slopes together. Black T-shirts? Nah, no merch – your wardrobe will remain as leak-free as the roof.
A confused bar with a restaurant-style menu – it's like a culinary identity crisis. Better-than-average bar grub, though. Proclaims to be an Irish pub but throws in mac and cheese and fried chicken – are we in Southern Ireland now?
Two blocks from the red and blue lines – city parking galore. Close to Blue Star Donuts for that post-dive bar sugar rush.
Cute and safe part of Goose Hollow, with enough parking for everyone. Family-friendly, making it a pitstop before Thorns or Timbers games. Standard Irish pub decor with a fireplace for that cozy touch. The vibe? Male dorm room meets branded advertisements as art – a peculiar mix.
Spiritual souls, rejoice – pink Himalayan salt candle holders at every table. But, where's the queer affirmation? It's more traditional Irish pub than rainbow haven. And let's settle the score – not a bar, it's a restaurant. Why it's labeled a dive bar? Well, that's a leaky mystery for another day.
So, if you're into confused culinary identities, cozy fireplaces, and a vibe that's more restaurant than raucous bar, Leaky Roof might just be your leaky cup of tea. Cheers to keeping it weird, even in a roof that's sprung a few leaks!
🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌 (6 out of 10 bananas)
-Rainbow Randy 🌈
Leaky Roof Gastro Pub
1538 SW Jefferson St, Portland, OR 97201
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